Another Bad Day

January 11, 2017

Hello my lovelies, 

I hope you are all well. 

Today has been a bad day for me. I woke up feeling a bit exhausted (I should have known) after relaxing for a short while I realized that I needed to get up and then all of a sudden I came over really down on the realization that I had to actually get up. Now I do not know what brought on the panic attacks but all I know is they didn't stop for a good hour. 

Now I have a couple of issues that I didn't ever want to really talk about but I suppose that talking to them may help in some way so here goes. 

  • Body Image - I have a really big problem with the way I look. I have done now for several months but I am too scared to do anything about it. I look at other women and see how happy they are in their bodies and their attitudes yet I continue to constantly feel fat/flabby/overweight. Now I have come to the realization that those words were created by media to body shame people. However, I feel that way about myself. I physically cannot bring myself to look in a full-length mirror at myself without breaking down into tears. I am too scared to change this.
  • Confidence  - I suppose this ties into what I was saying above this stems from my body image issues, but at the same time, I haven't had confidence since my anxiety got gradually worse. I try not to leave the house often although this is what Poppy is for and she gets me out daily. However, when it comes to doing silly little things like food shopping I will wear baggy clothes so no one looks at the way I look.
I suppose over time this will change but I know that the only way to make this change is to make myself do something. So next week is going to be a fresh start for me. I will make the commitments to make a change in how I feel. 

Now I know this isn't a happy post, for which I am sorry for. 

I will see you tomorrow!


Danielle xx

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